High Definition

Craig's list is a wonderful invention. But it's always good to make sure you're reading everything correctly... As demonstrated by this very clever prank ad:

Insomnia Related Craigslist Prank

So I couldn't sleep last night, which is of no particular surprise. Bored, I decided to see how perceptive/greedy the average person was while looking for a room to rent. I posted an ad. Here are the responses (the ad is below):

1. (FAILED)
Hello,
My name is Bxxxxx Axxxxx. Low key guy looking for a nice place to live in DC. I saw your posting and thought I would let you know I am Interested in at least coming by meeting you guys and looking at the room if it is still available. I just moved up here from Atlanta in Aug. I have been staying with a friend in Bowie but that is a bit far for me. Little about me... I just turned 32 last month... I am a bartender currently studying to become a personal trainer... I am quiet... clean... drug and drama free... anything else you would like to know please email me back or call me #(404)-xxx-xxxx Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks,
Bxxx Axxx

2. (FAILED)
Hi,
How are you doing? Guess fine i presume. Am writing you in regards to your advert on Craigslist.com and I'm interested in your room apartment, Am from maraura in South Australia Federation and I will be having some seminars and researchs on psychotherapy coming up soon in US. Right now am working for a Non Government Organization on a program on Pediatric Brain Tumor and cerebral related probs.The purpose of this seminar is to describe some thevast array of research that is being done to accelerate progress in the fight against brain tumors.We are set to increase public awareness about the severity and prevalence of childhood brain tumors,Find the cause and the cure of childhood brain tumors through the support of medical research.

This seminars and research will be in United states And Canada and I will be needing a room to stay for these seminars in your State, so I want to secure a room before my arrival to the States.I will be staying for the period of 6-7 months, Pls do get back to me with the room description, move in rent fees for the first month, Utilities and deposit if included. And if any picture of the room is available, kindly attach it with your reply please.i will like to know if there is space for my car also.

Hope to read from you. Have a wonderful and productive day.
Rxxxxxxx

3. (FAILED)
Hello,
My name is Rxxxxx and I am inquiring about your room for rent. A little about me; recent college grad form Boise State who is working
two jobs until the school year starts and I have a teaching position. Laid back and can chill with anyone, loves life, and having a goodtime. Email me back so we can set up a time to see the place.

Rxxxxxx

4. (FAILED)
Hi!
I saw your ad on craigslist and I'm interested! I am a 28-year old art teacher, and I am moving back to D.C. in June after a 2-year teaching stint in the Caribbean (Curacao). Your house sounds great, especially because I am a gardener (I am coming back to run a children's community gardening business), and I have two very lazy Caribbean cats who are looking for a home as well. Please let me know if this is a match!
Cheers,
Lxxxxxx

5. (FAILED)
Hi my name is Fxxxx. Iam a music educator and professional saxophonist in the DC area. I play and tour with the band Thievery Corporation. I am in my 30s a non smoker.
when I am home I like to just chill listen to music on headphones or just read. I am not a neat freak either but I am clean and more into harmony then dissonance. my cell phone is 301-xxx-xxxx and this is my email address I am very interested and could move in the first week of May. please call or email if you have any other questions.
regards
Fxxxxx.

....And onto the irresistible ad. Would you like to live here?

$370 Spacious Room in NW Townhouse!

I have a room available in a large, furnished townhouse only minutes from the cleveland park metro. About me: mid-30's professional male, non-smoker, social drinker, who runs his own business. The place: 3br, 1ba, expansive kitchen with granite and stainless steel appliances, hardwood floors, plenty of closet space, woodburning stove in the living room, jacuzzi 'ciprea' tub, high definition toilet cam, roof top deck, and if you love gardening you'll love the backyard! While you don't have to be a neatfreak, I'm looking for someone who is 'clean.' Tell me a little about yourself and maybe we can arrange a convo. Can't wait to hear from you!

cats are OK - purrr Location: Cleveland Park

6. (THE SOLE WINNER!)

High-definition toilet cam? what??
are you offering cheap rent to watch your roommate use the bathroom?
some kind of catch?
tell me I'm mistaken...

damn

So... I wanted to take this 5 minute stretch to upload some pictures, but uploading pictures is taking waaaaay too long. My appologies. When I get another chance, I'll write again.

Okay...

Okay. First post. And I'm sorry to say that this is going to be short and cryptic for now. European key boards are quite different from American ones, and I'm desperatealy trying to get used to them, so bear with me.
We arrive in Italy, rent a car, and immidately proceed to drive, yes, drive to the Amalfi Coast. The driving wasn't bad. I was appointed navagator for some strange reason (strange because I can get lost in my own home town...), but much to my chagrin everything turns out fine, and the motto "Trust the navagator. The navagator, she is good, the navagator, she is wise" pops right into existence. The italian country side is breathtaking. Mountains pop out of the horizon much like paper out of a pop up book. A few hours after leaving Rome, we're passing right by Naples, and under the looming presence of Mount Vesuvius. It's huge. Thats all I can say for now. Passing through the town of Meta, we almost get lost, but reach some very high mountains of which Arlo Gutherie's "Pickle Song" describes perfectly ("On one side of the mountain, there was a mountain. On the other side there was nothing, just a cliff in the air"). After about half an hour of winding around the hills, there lies Positano, little buildings rivering their way down the mountain side to the sea.
Eddie Izzard was right about the motor scooters. To paraphrase, "the italians are groovy, mostly scotting around on a motor scooter saying, "Ciiaooo". He's compeltely right, because if I had a euro for every time mom flinched and dad slammed on the brakes a little each time someone on a scooter passed us in the car, Id have rnough euros not to come home for a while. The roads, though windy and small, are in great condition, and its actually quite teeth gnashing to see how on earth one dude pnas to creep his bus around a corner at the same time a fruit cart comes by, but after a while, it's no big deal.
The Positano art festival was going on the week we were there, so every night there'd be music on the beach.
While we were in Positano, we got the chance to take day trips to Capri, Paestum, and Pompeii, of which I'll write more about when I can get some pictures up.
Long story short, POsitano is pretty much the perfect little getaway.
I will tak ethis time now to say that Naples is not the nicest or friendliest city, and we found out just waht it was like to be discriminatied against for being American. I'm damn sure there are parts of teh city worth seeing, but the cental city is not something I'd want to spend more than five minutes in.


We arrive in Rome after a very pleasant train ride (squeee!!), and the city is a-buzz with helicopters, armored cars, armed police, and so forth. Bushie, just so happens to be in town and the protests are crowding up the city. I really honestly couldn't say that I blamed them. I really didn't want him around either. Not to mention the fact that we were a little apprehenive about going back out after being warned that there were theives around that were specifically looking out for Americans. But, we chilled and went out a bit latedr after everything had died down.
So far Rome has been amazing, hot, but amazing..


And my time is up. So, I will try to post some more tomorrow, with pictures. Yay!

I can write anything I want about Patti. ANYTHING!!

Just because I can.

(Note: this post comes about because my wonderfully bright and very nice co-worker, Patti, said that now that she had the link that I "couldn't write anything about [her]" when in reality I can. Note also that she didn't specify. And I don't have anything bad or mediocre to say about her... So.. )


Take that. :D

Tonight's endeavor: Checking out the heavens.

I was watching a public broadcasting channel with other day with my mom. They were showing a video taped version of "The Barber of Seville", so we watched. Very well done performance. Afterwards was a little piece with some nerdy-lookin' dude in it, which I was about to turn off until he started talking about what was going to be in the sky that weekend. I was immediately intrigued because I hadn't been keeping track as of late and was just plain curious. I took note of what he said would be out this weekend and the beginning of this week. First, to the west an hour after sunset, right along the elipsis (orbit lines) at about a 45 degree angle from the horizon up to the left would be Mercury, Venus, and Saturn. At 11 PM, Jupiter in the South, and Mars more towards the center of the sky, I think. I must confess that I wasn't really paying that much attention when he got to Mars, cause... Well.. It's Mars. Its big. Its red. Its big and red. Not really too much else to say.
So just about after sunset, I hauled out the telescope, propped it up in the backyard and surveyed the heavens.
I dragged my brother and my mother out to the backyard, and when i asked if dad wanted to take a peek, he suggested hooking up my camera to the telescope. Its great idea. But there's just one problem. On this particular scope, it does have a camera port, but you need a special attachment. I could just stick the lens in the hole, which I tried, but a small digital camera does not have the capability to 'see' the whole way down the barrel (of which I got a lot of shots of until I realized I was doing). Needless to say... I was a little peeved. I could have grabbed the Nikon, but I still didn't have the right attachment, and I didn't have any film. Boo.
All was lost-- until I realized that I could probably just stick the lens in the viewfinder eye piece. I did. And even though some of the planets didn't come out so well, I got some great pictures.


I know this is a bit of a stretch, but what is actually in this picture is Saturn. The eliptical nature of it kinda gives it away, but in the telescope, you can see the division between the planet and the rings. On a really clear night, it's even possible to see the Cassini Division between section A and B of the rings. Not tonight, but still very nice.


Next, Venus the blob. There is really only one word to describe this picture: crappy. Venus, though pretty and bright as all get out doesn't really have too much definition to it unless you've got a larger scope. The barrel of mine is about 5 inches in diameter, so an 8 inch telescope would probably do much better.


Jupiter is probably one of my favorite planets to look at for three reasons: 1) Size. Very easy to spot. 2) On a good evening, and the right night, you can just barely catch the Great Red Spot. 3) Moons. Every night the four largest of Jupiter's moons, Io, Ganymede, Callisto, and Europa, appear in different spots as they rotate around their orbits. Callisto is not in the picture. And I can't be sure, but I think Europa and Io are on the left and Ganymede is on the right.
I couldn't get pictures of Mercury, being close to the horizon to get a decent exposure, or Mars, being too near to the 90 degree angle at which I cannot bend my telescope for fear of screwing up the machinery.

After seeing all this, and trying to get the best possible pictures, I got a little bit carried away maybe. If anyone saw the moon tonight, yes, it was bright, but not quite full. Still, though, one big reccomendation is to NEVER look at the moon full through a telescope. Burn a hole right through your retinas, you will. I know this. Buuuuuut, I reasoned with myself saying, "Hey, its not completely full."


Needless to say, I almost went blind. Just kidding (Don't try this at home, kids). Of course, this also looked much better through the scope, but I was very impressed with how well these came out. I have a whole bunch in time-lapse (thank you Canon for custom timers), which I won't put up cause I've got to go through them and do a little editing, and it would have much more of an "Ooooo" factor when placed in a slideshow or something. Still, I was "Ooo"-ing at the detail. The pole crater Tycho is easily seen, and up to the right from that is the largest of the moons maria, Oceanus Procellarum or the Ocean of Storms. Directly up from the pole is Mare Serenitatis, and down to its left, slightly darker, is Mare Tranquilitatis; the Sea of Tranquility. (I'm not sure, but the first moon landing was right around there.I know they were there and in the Ocean of Storms.)
I love this stuff. I don't know why exactly. It's just a hobby, but could it appeal to the side of me that longs to know what else is out there? Am I dying to know if we're alone in this huge thing we call the universe? Does it provoke me ponder the meaning of life? Probably not. I would love to know more about what's out there. Apparently the universe expands and has been expanding years before we even knew what it was or what to call it. I don't really think that we're alone in the universe simply for the reason that Jodi Foster put so eloquently, ". . . seems like an awful waste of space." Do I believe that we're here for some larger reason? I don't know, but I do believe that anyone not willing to take five minutes to see something as spectacular as this is seriously depriving themselves of something. That something being not just the experience of seeing something usually only read about in a grade school science book. Mankind has gazed at the heavens for centuries for navigation, for religion, for explanations, and so on. For myself, it is not only enthralling to see science and nature come to life in the eye piece of my telescope; it is a reminder of (like Ms. Foster said in Contact) how small, insignificant, and invaluable we are, as corny as it sounds.

Sometimes I wish my weekends were more eventful, but I think this weekend kind of took the cake in comparison to others.

And they do merit some more creative explanation, but I think that will be for a later post, cause I really have to think about where I want to take it.

Long story short-- Every friday night we ( my family ) invite over a very good friend of ours in addition to either my step-grandmother, whom most of you have heard a bunch about- and thats an understatement, and another old friend of my father's. So schematics: My mother, my father, my brother, me, Jane, Dick, and Sander if the whole group is together. . And during those evenings, no matter the company present, there are usually some very interesting discussions that go on that I think most people might have trouble swallowing. Not from me or my immdiate family, mind you... but from the three extra members present at such a dinner party. This friday though it was just the four of us, Dick, and Sander making roll call of six people; five jews, one catholic, each person varying in age, temperment, and social and political views.
This friday evening was nothing out of the ordinary concerning topics of discussion: town, politics, education, popular culture, sex, drugs, and maybe a little rock and roll. The out of ordinary thing that happened was that I had the urge to write creatively and seriously for the first time since high school. I don't know how well thats going to go, but I can say there will be at least some interesting dictation on the subject of cannonballs and time release kreplach, the last of which had to be explained to Dick. So keep a look out. I might post what I eventually write. I might not. It will be dragged over the coals a whole bunch, though, cause well... I'm anal about my writing.

Not at the moment though if you're reading this cause I'm not feeling well. In fact, I'm not even sure why I'm putting this down now. But it does have a sort of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-yoga-pants kinda feeling.

So I guess this'll just be kinda garbled garbage then, but while I'm going...

The rest of my weekend- Took a trip to Medina to see a friend of mine from college who was not in town, but then again Medina is not that far from here. And I must say that her family has a penchant for living out in the middle of nowhere to which she laughingly agreed. I will say this about that house, though.. they have one hole of golf on their front lawn.. Picture it. Theres a tee off point... And a little pond.. And of course a little flat piece with a flag. Just one- but it's there. We ate, we drank, and drank some more... And I didn't drink much, but I will say that considering how I feel today, shiraz is out of the question for a very long time. Needless to say though, we had a ball.

this tickles me

(Stephan Pastis, May 9th, 2007 http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20070509.html)
(I had to cite it, of course... like the good student of English. Don't make fun.)